For you writers out there, I blogged about Living in Limbo (life between contracts) at the NINC blog.
For the rest of you, I saw this list on Ashlyn Chase’s loop. It’s hilarious, but I have my own funny incident to add to the list at the end!
Things Not to Say to a Cop
1. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.
3. Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must’ve been going about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are you Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You’re not going to check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, officer! That’s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That’s how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the officer says “Gee son….Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?” You probably shouldn’t respond with, “Gee officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating donuts?”
Okay, so the true story…
A few years ago when I lived in Texas, my daughter and I took my car to the carwash. After running it through, I didn’t want to take the time to dry it off with a chamois, so I headed out of town. A siren chirped, and I looked up to see blue lights in my rear view mirror.
All right, so I knew I’d been speeding, and my daughter sat beside me mumbling, “I told you that you were going too fast, mom.”
The officer came to window and I rolled it down, smiling up at him.
He said, “Ma’am, do you realize you were going twenty miles over the posted speed limit?”
Well, of course I did, but I really, really didn’t want a ticket, so I batted my eyes and said, “But officer, I was only trying to blowdry my car!”
My daughter groaned beside me and the officer’s lips pressed into a skinny, tight line. But he gave me a ticket anyway. No sense of humor. 
