For you writers out there, I blogged about Living in Limbo (life between contracts) at the NINC blog.
For the rest of you, I saw this list on Ashlyn Chase’s loop. It’s hilarious, but I have my own funny incident to add to the list at the end!
Things Not to Say to a Cop
1. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.
3. Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must’ve been going about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are you Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You’re not going to check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, officer! That’s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That’s how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the officer says “Gee son….Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?” You probably shouldn’t respond with, “Gee officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating donuts?”
Okay, so the true story…
A few years ago when I lived in Texas, my daughter and I took my car to the carwash. After running it through, I didn’t want to take the time to dry it off with a chamois, so I headed out of town. A siren chirped, and I looked up to see blue lights in my rear view mirror.
All right, so I knew I’d been speeding, and my daughter sat beside me mumbling, “I told you that you were going too fast, mom.”
The officer came to window and I rolled it down, smiling up at him.
He said, “Ma’am, do you realize you were going twenty miles over the posted speed limit?”
Well, of course I did, but I really, really didn’t want a ticket, so I batted my eyes and said, “But officer, I was only trying to blowdry my car!”
My daughter groaned beside me and the officer’s lips pressed into a skinny, tight line. But he gave me a ticket anyway. No sense of humor. 
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😆 Oh I can just picture it! That kind of moment is worth it just for the embarrassment it causes our kids.
Of course I would have a micro-panic attack and not be able to make a sound… But it wouldn’t make a good story, would it?
I suppose my cop could have glowing eyes… No? Really not?
😈
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How funny.
Visited B&N today. They said they are having a big book signing of local authors and Anna/Stacy is going to be one of the authors. Will you be there too? You know we’ll come visit ya’ll.
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Masha! Yeah, having my daughter in the car with me was a bit of bad luck. She never lets me live my “blonde” moment down.
Heather B! I’m part of the group that will be signing!! We’d love to have someone show up—even if you have all our books—just to say hi! 😆
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Do they have a date yet? Also do you know who all will be there?
We will definitely be there.
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I have never met an officer with a sense of humor when he was in uniform.
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DD, my oldest thinks every one of my moments is a blonde moment. On the plus side, she’s never surprised, she’s AMAZED by my accomplishments.
Or is that on the minus side?
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ROFLMAO!!!
That was really good! I’m surprised he didn’t buy it. LOL.
I was married to a cop. he taught me how to get out of a ticket.
1) be respectful. “Good evening officer.”
2) admit what you id wrong. “I realize I was going a little too fast.”
3) Give a plausible reason, not an excuse. “I was expecting an important phone call at home on my landline and didn’t want to miss it.”
I did this and the officer said, “He’ll call you back.” and only gave me a warning.
I’ve also used, “I’m sorry I missed that red light, sir. I worked the night shift and I’m afraid I was inattentive and didn’t see it until too late. I’m only a block from home, though.”
He said, “I worked the graveyard shift too. Get home safely and get some sleep.”
Ash
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Heather! No date for the signing yet. And I don’t know who other than Anna J. and Shayla Kersten will be there. But I’ll be sure to post it as soon as I do.
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Estella! If I hadn’t had friends who were cops, I’d think that too. They loved to tell stories about the funny things that happened to them. But they also prided themselves on keeping that stoic mask in place. 🙂
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Ash! Great advice! I’ll try THAT next time.