Posting from LA! I skipped the Fairy Ball last night. Allergies were driving me nuts (sneezing, wheezing), so I went to bed early. 🙁 Had a good day though. Met with my agent. Sat on a panel with the awesome, L.A. Banks, Kim Kaye Terry, Glenda Wood from Harlequin and J.D. Mason. The panel went very well! I attended the EC luncheon, popped in briefly to the late afternoon Samhain party, but again, I was tired and coughing, so I ducked out and hung with Vivi Anna and Kim (she injured her knee dancing, so needed the company!). That’s the best about conferences—cementing friendships. ~DD
Cougars…really?
Thanks to Delilah for having me here today!
My topic today is one I’ve done before but still fascinates me. Cougars. Why is a woman of a certain age (and that age is getting younger and younger—I’m thirty-five and I’d bet in some circles I would qualify) who’s interested in a younger man worthy of a derogatory title? Do older men get named for dating younger women? No, because that’s considered the usual way of things.
Women who take charge of their lives and their sexuality and go after what they want—whether it’s a younger man or a career or staying home with their kids—have earned my respect. I have a good friend who’s engaged to someone younger and she’s a beautiful, sweet woman. He’s lucky to have her! I think to insinuate that women dating younger guys is all about sex isn’t true. Just like people can have friends of any age, love blooms between all different age groups. And that’s the way it should be.
Even if it’s not about love, who cares? I say have fun. Go for it. What’s been good for the guys since the beginning of time is definitely good for us ladies.
I’m writing two very different so-called “cougar” stories right now and I’ve written one before, Full Disclosure. One of the reasons I love writing them is that I like an age range in my heroines and unfortunately, unless you’re writing women’s fiction, heroines above 35 don’t seem prevalent unless they’re with a younger guy.
I like writing about older women. They’ve usually got a better handle on what they want in their careers and sexually too. But they have a whole new set of vulnerabilities to explore.
What about you? Do you dislike the term “cougar”? Do you enjoy books featuring older heroines?
Visit Cari Quinn at www.cariquinn.com or at her blog: Cari’s Blog
Or join her fabulous multi-author loop: Three Wicked Writers Plus Two
Comment
I love reading about older heroines. They seem so vulnerable. And so ripe for what’s next.
Comment
This is a subject near and dear to me because I am a cougar. My husband is 7 years younger than myself. Now the truth is that I was very hesitant to be more than friends at first but once I realized that age didn’t matter and that he wanted me for me, I married him. LOL! I love cougar stories because I can totally related to the feelings and confusion of the heroines. 🙂
Comment
I hadn’t really thought about the cougar term as derogatory before, but you’re right. Glad I didn’t refer to the woman in my older woman/younger man story that way. It’s also true that the “certain age” qualification has gotten younger. Who decided that?
Good post. Congrats on your release.
Best–Adee
Comment
I enjoy stories with older women since most are about younger ones; it’s nice to be able to relate. And no I don’t find the word cougar offensive.
Comment
Thanks so much for letting me blog with you, Delilah. And thanks to everyone for stopping by! 😀
Comment
LOL We’ve had a few discussions about this one.
I love that you handle the May/December romances without making it an issue. Not really.
And that’s how it should be. It’s more about dealing with yourself and what you want. A woman should go after what she wants…period.
Can’t wait to see how you finish off Marcia. 😉