The Promo Whore and Queen of the Kitchen contests continue. Read yesterday’s post for details! ~DD
The Ol’ Kabong of Life
By Carol A Strickland
Golden Corral used to run a commercial in which a tiny chef-fairy would KABONNNNGGG!! people on the back of their heads with a huge, cast-iron skillet. This reminded them that they needed to partake of a meal at said restaurant. The commercial made me wonder if only those with brain injuries would want to eat there.
I experienced my own kabong, but it was a more spiritual if just as deeply vibratory experience. You see, I hit Mid-Life.
KABONNNNGGG!!
People joke about Mid-Life Crises. Oh, isn’t it so silly when men have to have their red convertibles and mature women start to dress like teenagers in an effort to regain their youth? They’re nuts!
Yeah, it’s a laughing matter until it happens to you.
Well before my own crisis I’d taken courses at a psychic school—the kind where the classroom was in the house’s basement next to the water heater, and the teacher assumed we could all detect the cosmic energies she spoke of. There we learned that Mid-Life Crisis occurs around age 42, give or take a year or two.
At that age, the planet Uranus (pronounced: “YOUR-uh-nus,” not the “I’ve got a joke for you!” way) (my college professor explained that very carefully on our first day of astronomy class) has managed to half-complete an orbit so it stands opposite from where it was when you were born.
Uranus has to do with your life mission, what you were put on Earth to accomplish. When the planet faces its original position, it challenges your birth energy and reminds you of what is truly important. How does it do this?
With a big ol’ cast iron skillet, administered to the base of your fortyish skull.
KABONNNNGGG!!
How did it affect me? First of all, I had one of the most vivid dreams I’d ever had, full of my favorite sexy superheroes, Capt. Picard and his Enterprise, and me saving the day by being your basic Mary Sue-type character.
That darned dream stuck. I’d go to work and be almost unable to function because I couldn’t get it out of my head.
Finally, I said the heck with it, recalled that back in elementary school and college I’d written some fanfic, sat down with my (don’t laugh) used Mac IIcx, and wrote a book.
Quickly enough I decided that this would be something that I might want to publish. Bye-bye, Capt. Picard. I rearranged my superheroes so they weren’t the actual ones who appeared in the comics. (I always felt I could improve those guys anyway.) And most of all, I tried my darnedest to get rid of the Mary Sue aspects of my lead character, bless her too-perfect heart.
But Mid-Life Crisis affected me in other ways. I wanted to write more than this one book. I wanted to move. I wanted to change my name. One long week when I had writer’s block an overwhelming urge hit me to paint a big patch of blue instead.
Ransacking the back of my closets, I discovered my old college art supplies (art major here), dragged out a canvas, and by gosh, painted it flat blue.
Whew. Amazingly, I could write again. But now I also wanted to renew my interest in painting.
If Mid-Life hasn’t happened to you yet, it will. Don’t even try to fight it. You will be kabonged and you’ll never see it coming. It’ll be time to sit down and reassess your direction in life. What’s really important for you to do? What interests have you been ignoring that shouldn’t be ignored?
As for me, I finished the book. It was about 1500 pages long, and holy moly, it was a romance! I didn’t know anything about romance novels, so I joined Romance Writers of America. The book was split and reconstructed into five novels. The first volume, Touch of Danger (in which a psychic healer with a phobia meets the world’s sexiest but much-too-strong superhero), was published by Ellora’s Cave Blush. The second volume, Star-Crossed, will be out in a week or two (add three weeks if you try to find it on Amazon), and plans are to get the third volume out before the end of the year.
I now have an art business that is beginning to attract attention. That name change I wanted? Oy. That’s an entire column unto itself, so let’s just summarize and say that my non-legal new name was actually a much better name for the now non-Mary Sue character, so I gave it to her.
I did indeed move to the next town over. And it is true enough: every now and then I visit the Golden Corral. But I try to do it before that chef-fairy can brain me!
Who else here has been kabonged? What did you change in your life? Or did you stay the same? (Or do you know some folks who did pretty goofy things when they hit mid-life?) And who here is old enough to recognize the cartoon character who heads this column? There was so much kabonging that he decided to join the party.
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Carol A. Strickland is a writer, artist and Wonder Woman expert. You can visit her website www.CarolAStrickland.com to learn about her books, artwork, and more than you’d ever want to know about the Amazing Amazon. There you will find book excerpts (page link: https://www.carolastrickland.com/fiction/index.html ) and even a contest where you could win a free DVD! Her fantasy romance, Touch of Danger, and the historical romance, Burgundy and Lies, are available online in both e- and print form. Star-Crossed will be out soon.
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I definitely remember the character.
This year I turn 50 and I can’t remember having a midlife crisis. My sister is definitely going through hers now and it is scary.
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So glad you experienced your own kabong. Kudos to your most vivid dreams and what an amazing artist you are. Love your paintings!
Burgundy and Lies is still on my list to read and I will get to your book soon. I didn’t start doing Book Reviews until I was around 50 years old, but I don’t remember having a mid-life crisis, but I do have senior moments now. LOL! I am an avid reader and have so many authors as friends. I am blessed.
Thanks Carol for being one of my author friends!
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The character seems familiar to me, but than I am only 38. I guess I now have an ideal what mid-life might be like for me when it happens.
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Rebecca and Lisa, a co-worker told me that he’s 48 and hasn’t had a MLC yet. He claims it’s probably because that, at age 40, he was between marriages and that was enough stress. (My opinion: his second marriage was just what he was supposed to do, and came with a lot of love and kids getting his attention.)
Then again, maybe you’re just “together” kind of folks and already are doing what you’re supposed to, you can miss the ol’ kabong.
Good luck with that upcoming MLC, Becky, you young whippersnapper, you! Being prepared is almost always the best policy.
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i think what is called a mid-life crisis is really a when we reevaluate what is important to us and decide to get rid of the garbage in our lives. i think that when most women reach their late 30’s -50’s their children are more independent and they find themselves at at time in their lives were they have to decide what they need and want and not what is best for themselves not everyone else. this is not something that women usually do because we have a tendency to put eveyone elses needs and wants before our own. then when this time comes in our life not only do we think it is out of character for us but so does out families. it is not selfish to think of yourself and what is important to you! what is sad is that not only do we as women expect ourselves to put us last but so does eveyone else. in this day and age we should come in as important as anyone else in our wants,needs and desires so that when we reach the time where we are no longer centered around raising families or jobs or whatever it was it our younger days that we were so focused on that people don’t look at us and smirk and snicker behind their hands and say “oh she’s having a mid-lif crisis you know!”
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Nicely put! Let’s hope society gets to the point where all women of every age (and men, for that matter) can put themselves first (like putting on that airplane oxygen mask) so that they’re operating on full efficiency to handle the important things in their lives, like their families.