Adele Dubois Goes Wild

–CONTEST ALERT!–

I’ve always had a wild streak. Before I became a wife and mother, my adventurous spirit sometimes turned reckless. In the names of fun and excitement, I didn’t always think through my choices. When I look back at some of the risks I’ve taken, I thank my lucky stars the cosmos threw a blanket of protection over me. I reached adulthood mostly in one piece, though my heart might say otherwise.

These days, I’m as domesticated as a house cat. My most reckless choice on a Friday night might be to drink a wine cooler with pizza instead of iced tea. Still, that wild child inside me longs to come out and play. Most of the time, I ignore that voice, but every once in a while I give in to my adventurous nature. Those impulses have taken three predominant forms. First, I refuse to tame my naturally curly hair. Second, I drive a convertible with the top down unless it’s raining, freezing, or snowing. Third, I forged a career as a romance author and will write stories until I have none left to tell.

When the opportunities came along to submit to the Cleis Press and Delilah Devlin anthologies GIRLS WHO BITE and SHE-SHIFTERS, my wild child soul shouted, “Count me in!” Here were chances to experiment with something entirely new, where I could be as adventurous as I wanted to be. I have to say, writing vampire and shape-shifter duel heroines is the most fun I’ve had in a while.

If you think erotic F/F stories aren’t for straight women, I hope you’ll reconsider. A whole new world opened to me as both a writer and a reader with GIRLS WHO BITE and SHE-SHIFTERS.

Here’s a taste of my steamy short story “She’s Furry Yiffy.” Available separately, only .99 at Amazon, B&N, and Smashwords. You might like my story so much you’ll want to buy the whole SHE-SHIFTERS anthology. And GIRLS WHO BITE too!

Question: Are you, or have you ever been, a wild child? Or are you the more sedate type? Tell us a little about yourself in the comments section. One person will win a PDF copy of my steamy short story “The Crystal Altar” from GIRLS WHO BITE.

SHE’S FURRY YIFFY

A hot-bodied shape-shifter finds more than a hook-up at an X-rated Fur Con.

Excerpt:

“Mundanes aren’t supposed to be in here,” a masculine voice said behind Anika. His tone sounded more flirtatious than threatening. Furries had a reputation for friendliness, so he was probably harmless. She’d learned that, and the lingo, the first time she worked a Fur Con, months before her life-changing event.

Anika turned toward the man dressed in moose costume from the neck, down, and forced a polite smile. He wore long thick antlers over his neatly cut brown hair, possibly to signal a YIFF looking for a good time. Fur Con XXX was for mature conventioneers looking for fun and hook-ups; unlike the family-friendly Furry events held elsewhere.

Anika touched her tongue to her bottom lip. She could almost taste the animal he pretended to be, but not in the way he might wish.

“She obviously works here, idiot,” the wolf-clad male next to him replied. “Can we get drinks?” He gave her a friendly tailwave with the long gray plume he pulled from behind his back. “That is, unless you’re feeling yiffy. Blue-eyed blondes with great legs and big, uh.are my weakness.”

Anika knew he wasn’t referring to the YIFF acronym. Yiff in its many grammatical forms had its root in one word. Sex.

She eyed the faux wolf and noted the SPH, strategically placed hole, in his costume. Not a chance. She hadn’t had sex with a guy since high school, and had been mostly celibate since Lori moved to Seattle eight months ago for a job promotion. The move was a transparent excuse to break up with her following Anika’s attack in the woods.

What hurt most was that Lori didn’t deny the abandonment. “I can’t handle it,” was all she would say. She’d refused to make eye contact before she walked out the door. Anika had been inconsolable for weeks afterward.

Since then, she’d been alone, but her need for companionship had become a painful ache that tormented her night after lonely night. Her rare one-night stands had been disasters of epic proportions. The women had run from her house and refused to return her calls. There simply weren’t many choices for a lesbian with her particular new… penchants.

Available for .99 on Amazon! Available for .99 on Smashwords! Available for .99 on B&N!

Buy SHE’S FURRY YIFFY on Amazon!
Buy SHE-SHIFTERS on Amazon!

I’m heading to the hospital with my mother (she broke her arm last night!), but wanted to get the news out about T&J! It’s a brand new book, 45,000 satisfying words I guarantee will tickle your funny bone! Click on the cover to head to Amazon! And while you’re there, be sure to like and tag it, and if you read it, Elle and I would appreciate your comments in the reviews!! Enjoy!

A laugh-out-loud romantic adventure!

See what happens when a secret billionaire and an aspiring actress get a little wild in Texas!

A man with a soft spot for women…

Closet Texas millionaire, Tanner Peschke has three months to prove he can make a profit at the family used car dealership or he will lose his job, disappoint his father and break his promise to his dying mother. The root of his problem is women. He can’t resist them—any of them. All it takes is the scent of delicate perfume or a misty-eyed gaze from an elderly woman with a sob story, and he becomes silly putty in the hands of his feminine customers. Until, with a stroke of luck and a buck of a mechanical bull, he hires Janine Davis to star with him in the dealership’s live TV ads.

A woman who won’t let a handsome cowboy get in the way of her dream…

Determined to make a name for herself, Janine needs to pay the bills between acting jobs. The offer to do a series of commercials for Peschke Motors is a chance to get her face “out there”. Recognizing a player when she sees one, Janine agrees to co-star with her handsome employer fully intending to keep their relationship strictly professional. First break she gets, she’s heading to Hollywood.
Their jungle-themed commercials take a crazy twist, and Tanner finds himself falling…from a sales banner while chasing a monkey. But more importantly, he’s falling for Janine. She’s just the one woman to tame this cowboy’s wild heart. Convincing her to stay with him might be harder than catching a mischievous monkey.

A knock on the door made her groan.

“It’s time, Miss Davis,” came a male voice, not Tanner’s, through the hollow panel of the bathroom door.

“I’ll be right out,” she called. Alternating between tugging down the hem of the bottoms to cover her fanny, and pulling up the top to cover her breasts, she stormed out of the bathroom, across the showroom floor, and out into the lighted car lot.

Judging by the gauntlet of wolf calls she passed through to get to the television crew, every salesman in the dealership must have stayed late. They all wanted to witness the live filming by a group of college students Tanner hired to keep the budget low. As part of the crew’s curriculum requirement, the commercial would air live on the university’s public television station.

A man carrying a spider monkey approached and shoved the critter into her arms. “This is Spunky. You need to keep a hold on the monkey at all times, or he’ll take off. Catching him will take us hours.”

“Hey! Nobody said anything about a monkey.” Janine pushed the little guy back at his handler, but the jerk turned and trotted to a position beyond the spotlights. Her chances of being taken seriously as an actress slipping through the seams of her skimpy costume and the busy fingers of the monkey, Janine suppressed the urge to scream.

“Quiet, everybody. Two minutes to take,” the young director’s voice boomed through a megaphone. “Where’s Tanner?”

The animal handler called to Janine from the sidelines. “Remember, whatever you do, don’t let go of the monkey.”

“Right, don’t let go of the monkey.” Janine’s head swiveled side to side in search of the nutcase who’d talked her into this crazy commercial. She’d felt more in control on the bucking mechanical bull at the convention than she did right now.

Suddenly, the crowd of used car salesmen parted. Tanner strode toward her with his long, loose-limbed gait and all the confidence and charm of a professional actor. Tanner, dressed casually in his ever-present blue jeans, chambray shirt, cowboy hat and cowboy boots, smiled as he worked his way through the crowd of onlookers.

Janine snorted.

I’ll bet he’s never ridden a horse a day in his life.

He walked right up and turned the full force of his smile on her.

Damn. Her knees went weak, complementing the butterflies in her stomach and the monkey fidgeting in her arms.

As the cameras moved into position, panic filled her. “You never told me what my lines were. What am I supposed to say?”

“Just stand over there and look beautiful. I’ll do all the rest.” He adjusted his hat with enough confidence for both of them. “And smile when I introduce you. That frown makes you look mean.”

Janine opened her mouth to carve his enormous ego down to size and remind him she was an actress, not a model.

Before one word could cross Janine’s lips, she was cut off by the cameraman. “Mr. Peschke, I hope you’re ready because this is not a rehearsal, you’re going live in five…four…three…two…” He pointed ‘one’. The camera was trained on Tanner, the red button lit, and the feed was direct.

Without missing a beat, Tanner smiled, looking completely at ease in front of the camera. “Howdy, folks. It’s a jungle out there. We know how difficult wading through the gimmicks and sales jargon is when buying a used car.”

She had to admit he sounded charming and genuine. After sabotaging her job with BS-Squared, he’d conned Janine into taking this job. She bet he could sell ice to Eskimos.

Spunky’s hairy little hand slipped beneath the bra of her outfit.

Janine slapped at his hand, eliciting a shriek from the monkey. “You must be a male,” she muttered, wishing Tanner would fall on his pretty face in front of the camera.

“Are you sick of the new car prices and immediate depreciation when you drive a car off the lot? Let us take the monkey off your back…” Tanner swung an arm in her direction.

Spunky crawled up on her shoulders and played with her hair.

How about getting this monkey off my back? Crap. She’d spent hours trying to fix her hair beautifully for the commercial. Great, when they finally get the cameras on me, I look like the monkey.

“…and show you what we’ve got in low mileage, pre-owned vehicles at rock-bottom prices.”

At that moment, the creature latched onto the strings holding her halter-top in place. She felt her boobs dip and her stomach knotted.

“Stop that, Spunky,” she whispered, making a grab for both of his tiny, dexterous fingers and the tail that seemed just as facile.

The monkey ignored her, chattering happily, hands and tail dodging her flailing attempts.

“Join us this weekend for our ‘Monkey Off Your Back Sale.’ We’ll be servin’ free banana milkshakes to all the folks who come out.” Tanner’s voice kept up the running monologue despite the monkey’s antics, true to form for a car salesman.

Janine simmered as she struggled for control.

Let’s get this over with before this monkey craps on me. 

The Writers’ Police Academy: Hot Cops + Cold Steel

Really? Yes! The last weekend in September, I attended Lee Lofland’s Writers’ Police Academy near Greensboro, NC. I went the past two years as well — but this year’s conference was the best ever! I had such a good time, met some big name people, and learned so much. I was even able to interview a SWAT Team sniper in a search for info about my current WIP. Awesome!

The Firearms Training Simulator (FATS) was a literal blast, as usual. I didn’t do so great when I faced the first scenario; guess it took me a minute to get back in the groove. In the second one, however, I didn’t shoot the hostage I thought I’d brought down. Turns out the hostage taker knifed the guy after I nailed the bad guy in the crotch. Then once the hostage hit the floor, I shot the hostage taker in the chest and that was that. Two direct hits. Woot! So. Much. Fun!

Some of my favorite classes were Underwater Evidence Recovery, courtesy of the Guilford County Sheriff’s Office dive team; Suicides, Hangings, and Autoerotic Deaths, with one of my favorite instructors, Bill Lanning; Personal Protection for Women, taught by the unshakable Dee Jackson; Drug Interdiction; How a Case Works, by Marcia Clark, the woman who prosecuted OJ many moons ago; and Forensic Identification, taught by the estimable Dr. Elizabeth Murray. To top it off, Lee Child of Jack Reacher fame was the keynote speaker at Saturday night’s banquet. Wow. I could go on and on… because really, I had the time of my life.

In addition to the classes and the firearms simulator, this year I was also able to  ride along with a member of the Greensboro Police Department. I rode with Officer Ashley Hawkins and got to see a good sized section of the city. She and some of the other officers I met during the evening were all so young, I felt as if I’d been dropped into an episode of Rookie Blue. Too funny. And unfortunately for me, the few hours I tagged along with her proved to be relatively uneventful.

Officer Hawkins couldn’t even find anyone with an out of date car tag. We did investigate a supposed gunshot, however, and near the end of my ride, she got a call to check out a burglar alarm at a really creepy empty warehouse. When cops get an alarm call like that, they have to search the entire building, just in case; the place was huge, so she asked another officer for help, and he showed up with a trained K-9 — a beautiful German Shepherd used to doing building searches. The alarm kept shrieking, though, and they couldn’t hear the dog bark, so they still had to go through the entire place. That took a while. Another cop drove around to the back of the building and checked the ancient loading dock. They didn’t find anyone inside, and I guess that was good… although I would have loved a little more excitement. As it was, I was late getting back to the pickup point. Oops.

I tip my hat to Lee Lofland, the extremely competent staff of the Highpoint Public Library, Sisters in Crime (a wonderful organization that subsidized the conference fee for their members), the folks at Guilford Technical Community College, the men and women of the Guilford County Sheriff’s Office and the Greensboro Police Department, and the staff at the Embassy Suites Hotel. What a fabulous few days it was for all of us! I know I’ve missed a lot of people, so please forgive me.

I recommend this conference to anyone writing crime fiction. Can’t wait for next year if Lee, SinC, and the library folks decided to tackle this again.

Meanwhile, I’m in promotion hell. I have a new book out this month… and more coming soon. So much to do, so little time.

HAUNTED MEMORIES, my October book from Desert Breeze Publishing, is a re-release, and I’m so happy to have it back out there. When it was out before, it got excellent reviews. In this story, Olivia Bartlett is stunned to find her old friend, Deputy Tucker Hawkins, living in the house she has inherited, but she’s even more shocked to glimpse her cruel stepfather lurking in the shadows. Has Walter come back to haunt her, or is he really alive–and trying to kill her? To survive, she must turn to Tucker, who not only stakes his claim to the old house, but also to her heart.

The book is available at Desert Breeze, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and many other online outlets.

Also, my book SKELETON BAYOU is at Amazon and Barnes & Noble for only $.99. Hope you’ll check it out!