Channeling your inner Miss Piggy on Twitter
An anxious author’s meditation – by CM McCoy

Hello. My name is Colleen, and I’m an anxious author.

By “anxious author,” I mean I live with anxiety, which sometimes scatters my brain with worry and ofttimes devours my very last scrap of moxie. Functioning like a normal human requires wrangling that anxiety into submission, and wrangling that ubiquitous beast into submission requires a special weapon.

My weapon of choice in this matter is meditation, which takes many forms. There’s yoga, prayer, showers, toilet time… (Oh please tell me I’m not the only Earthling who gets their best ideas shortly before a flush. (No really, please tell me!)

Thankfully, there’s writing, which, though far from “drafty,” is far more comfortable and far more schedulable. I love meditation through writing: journals, novels, short stories, blog posts, but my absolute favorite writing meditation is the Twitter story.

Twitter stories are great because they force your gray matter into succinctness. You get 140 characters per “scene” to create a mood and move an anecdotal plot forward. They’re a TON of fun! But they require confident snippets of huge character, à la Miss Piggy.

Today I wanted to share 2 of my favorite Twitter stories, 50% of which are almost 50% true. 🙂

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CM McCoy Twitter Story #1

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1) He said: We’re meeting the King and Queen for dinner in Sweden
Me: Really?
Him: Yeah, so try not to do that thing you do with your foot

2) Me: You mean dance?
Him: No the other thing
Me: *blink blink*

3) Him: …the one where your foot jumps in your mouth, and you spit it out with an f-word.
😯

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CM McCoy Twitter Story #2

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1) The neighbors won’t talk to me. They think I’m contagious. (I’m not, I’m just a terrible panic-liar)

2) I weigh 99 lbs. When I go to the base gym, the SEALs side-eye me.

3) Please… I can do your “workout”. <– I don’t say this out loud, but I do set my jaw and grab a dumbbell.

4) Fifteen minutes in, I rename their “Man Town” circuit “Man Down”, drop the dumbbell, and crawl away, humbled by their man-strength.

5) Easter morning, I find someone in the next pew to ponytail my hair, b/c these arms haven’t moved since exercise 6 of 10 in “Man Down”

6) As legs also turn to lead, hot church guy notices a limp & offers his hand, but I can’t take it. (see #4)

7) Me? Sore? Pfft…no… Lame excuse follows, and now hot church guy thinks I’m under Ebola quarantine from a trip I didn’t take to Africa.

8) Since we’re in church he thinks I’m serious.

9) I wouldn’t consider this a small town, yet when I pull into driveway, neighbors scatter like cockroaches. They’ve “heard”

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Author CM McCoy (Colleen) recently interviewed with INSIDE EDITION (airs in Feb or Mar 2017) wherein she discussed writing as a part of healthy living and stress management.

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Colleen’s Book, EERIE (YA fantasy with romance)

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EERIE
by CM McCoy
Genre: YA fantasy with romance
Publisher: Simon & Schuster/Omnific

Summary

Featured in PEOPLE Mag & on INSIDE EDITION — Hailey must survive her supernatural classes, avoid the pants-stealing campus poltergeist, & live with a roommate from Hell. At Paranormal University, this much is certain: if her classes don’t kill her, the guy she falls in love with just might.

Hailey Hartley has just enrolled in the world’s premier supernatural university. It’s a school she’s never heard of, located in a town called The Middle of Nowhere, and run by a creature that’s not supposed to exist. But at least she got a scholarship…

Hailey’s dreams have always been, well…vivid. As in monsters from her nightmares follow her into her waking life vivid. When her big sister goes missing, eighteen-year-old Hailey finds only one place offers her answers–a paranormal university in Alaska. There, she studies the science of the supernatural and must learn to live with a roommate from Hell, survive her otherworldly classes, and hope the only creature who can save her from an evil monster doesn’t decide to kill her himself.

★ Watch the EERIE book trailer: http://tinyurl.com/qzszesl

Buy the Book

AMAZON | B&N | iBOOKS | KOBO | BAM | GOOGLE PLAY | WALMART | GOODREADS

Amazon UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Eerie-C-M-McCoy-ebook/dp/B0176M6MA6
Amazon Canada: http://www.amazon.ca/Eerie-C-M-McCoy-ebook/dp/B0176M19RM

About CM McCoy. CM McCoy has one pointed ear, a 70-pound puppy from Hell, and a very active imagination. She’s well aware nobody can say or spell her real name, hence the pen name. You can call her Colleen. She’s the PR manager for Inklings Literary Agency. When she’s not chatting with her imaginary friends, she’s interviewing with PEOPLE Magazine, ABC’s 20/20, the local morning news show, or INSIDE EDITION, where she promotes writing for mental and emotional health. She also mentors pre-published authors through workshops and contests. Though she’s a retired Air Force officer with a BS in both Chemical Engineering and German, she’s far happier writing near misses and awkward kisses. Some of her off-the-wall talents include speaking in 10-codes (which she learned working with Alaska State Troopers), flying helicopters, and Irish dance. Subscribe to Colleen’s Just North of Normal Blog 🙂

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