I think most people will agree love and romance are different. One can definitely be in a loving relationship that lacks romance. How often has one heard someone comment the spark has gone out of a relationship or that the fire needs to be rekindled? Does that mean the relationship dead or the love has vanished? Possibly. But the chances are what is lacking isn’t love but romance.

So, what is romance? Romance is acts or gestures that create a feeling of being wooed or special and enhances feelings of deep or intimate affection plus a whole lot more. Truth is, there exists no simple answer to define it. Most default to describing what it looks like in action. Most also would agree romance is different for men and women. A woman may swoon by having a surprise bouquet of flowers sent to her job while a man may be blown away by having his significant other bring him an icy, cold beer during the big game. This is not to say a man wouldn’t appreciate flowers or a woman a nice tall one. Romance means going beyond or exceeding the normal bounds to express tenderness. It expresses the appreciation of another person and blooms exhilaration. Romance fuels passion.

Romance doesn’t have to be grand or expensive gestures. Opening a door, holding an umbrella over, or even a wink all can be romantic. And they’re all free—unless the person has to buy the umbrella or the door being held is to an establishment with a cover charge. That’s why it’s puzzling that a man would take a date to an inexpensive greasy spoon with ripped, pleather seats when he could make PB&J, pack a blanket, and take her to a sweet spot under the stars. (Disclaimer to my fellow southerner who know timing is everything. Doing this in the wrong moth will get you swarmed with lovebugs—not romantic—or eat up by mosquitos—or worse if you’re down on the lower bayou. Plan wisely, or at least, have a pistol handy.)

Romance involves thought. Treating him to a birthday dinner can be romantic. Taking him to a seafood buffet because you forgot he’s allergic to shellfish would be crappy, and thus, a failure in the romance category. Of course, some smart aleck will argue that if she remembered to bring an EpiPen this still could constitute romantic. But no, it still would be an “epi fail”—sort of like this joke. Romance must consider the other person’s thoughts, feelings, and health.

Readers of romance look for these elements and connections in stories. Often if a romance novel is a flop, it’s because the author has incorrectly defined romance and instead focused on meaningless gestures that do not deepen the bond between characters. This occurs in the real world, too. But if one was to really think about it, being romantic isn’t all that complicated. Follow the heart, and it all comes naturally.

Don’t forget to visit Creole Bayou. New posts are made on Wednesdays. If you have any questions or suggestions about this post or any others, feel free to comment below or tweet me at @dolynesaidso. You also can follow me on Instagram at genevivechambleeauthor or search me on Goodreads or Amazon Authors.

Enjoy sports romance? Check out my new adult romance, Defending the Net, being released in November. It is the second in my hockey series and guaranteed to melt the ice. Preorder now at: https://books2read.com/defending. Crossing the line could cost the game.

Missed the first in my hockey romance series? Don’t worry. Out of the Penalty Box, an adult romance where it’s one minute in the box or a lifetime out is available at http://amzn.to/2Bhnngw. It also can be ordered on iTunes, Nook, or Kobo. For more links where to purchase or to read the blurb, please visit http://bit.ly/2i9SqpH.

Life’s Roux: Wrong Doors, my steamy romantic comedy, is available at Red Sage Publishing. To order, follow the link at http://amzn.to/2lCQXpt.

Copies of all my books and stories are available in paper, eBook, and audio on Amazon, iTunes, Kobo, and Barnes & Noble. The links are listed in my Writing Projects page (http://bit.ly/2iDYRxU) along with descriptions of each of my novels or stories.

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