Thank goodness I had guests lined up this week to post; otherwise, there would not have been any content posted. Today’s the first day I actually feel like placing my fingers on the keyboard.
Monday and Tuesday, I already talked about. That was the honeymoon period. Sure, I didn’t feel great with everything zinging through my veins, but I could handle it. Then…
Tuesday. That afternoon, my cheeks and neck got fiery hot. I talked to the nurse, and she said it could be an allergic reaction, so take some Benadryl. Which was lovely. I took it and took a long, long nap. Just after midnight, early Wednesday morning, was when the real shit hit me.
Every muscle and joint, from my pelvic floor to the tips of my toes, hurt. I couldn’t sit still. I had to constantly rock or shake my feet. For the first 24 hours of that, I didn’t get even so much as a catnap. I relented and took some Hydro and got four hours of sleep, which was helpful, but I remained pretty dazed and uncomfortable throughout Thursday.
It’s Friday now, and it’s better, but all I want to do is steal naps all day long. I get up and shuffle around, then head back to bed. I’m trying to stay away from the Hydro and only use it at night so I can get back to a regular sleep routine. There’s only been light nausea, so that’s good, I guess.
It would be hilarious if I weren’t so miserable how I thought I could plan out my chemo and recovery days. I thought I was giving myself a very generous five days to get back to work. It’s actually blocked out on my calendar like that.
The family has been amazing. They check on me and bring me meals and drinks. It’s up to me to fight this thing, so now that I know, I have to “woman up.” I can do this. I’ll figure out the rhythm and how my body reacts. I’ll figure out what works when I’m tired and cranky because I can’t accept any pity parties from me. What purpose do they serve?
Hope this all makes sense. I’m just journaling at this point, getting it down so I’ll be able to compare it to what comes next. I watched Anne Rice’s Mayfair Witches, Season 1. I didn’t like it, but that could be grumpy me.
I wish everyone health and happiness—and much, much love.
