The funeral’s set for Friday. The family is gathering. Because my parents had a burial policy and a funeral home already selected, there’s not a lot of stress involved with the “arrangements.” It’s nice to know family is ready to converge, but at the same time, I crave quiet.

My dd and my sister have been gems. Both working so hard to get ready for company and organize dad’s “effects”. Mom’s been making lists of relatives to call and agencies to inform. My sister has already written what she wants to say at his funeral, and I haven’t been able to organize a thought about what I would say. I won’t. I’ll be there, but I don’t want to be. They’re eager to honor him, but I want to climb into a deep dark hole and sleep. And I feel guilty about that and the fact I haven’t cried as much as they have.

While everyone efficiently went through his clothing to see what family members might use and what might be donated, I wanted to shoo them all from the room, because they were moving too fast for me. I did have the thought that I wanted some of his shirts, ones I remember he wore a lot because I needed to keep something, and I thought…pillows. Just to cling a while longer, because everyone else is so eager to purge. Or that’s the way it feels to me. And now, I don’t want them to read this, but I’ll leave it anyway and hope they don’t.

All I can think is that, like with Grandma, I’m thankful he needed me at the end. I was here when shit hit the fan. I called the ambulance. I tended the sores on his feet for months, cleaning them, bandaging them. I made him breakfasts and brought him coffee. I don’t have to say words over him. I won’t. When they are all gone, I’ll be here for Mom.

Okay, so there’s a tear. Two. Three. I’m done. I just have to get through Friday.

Well, I didn’t. So, when my granddaughter erupted in vomit on Friday night (somehow, she was the only one in her immediate family who didn’t get the shot), I knew I was in trouble. I took her to the doctor where we waited with a good thirty other people there for the same reason. She has her meds and is doing better. I lucked out and only got a mild case—no “Vesuvial” eruptions, but a major case of the aches—head, joints—and general queasiness all weekend long. Here’s hoping you didn’t procrastinate and got that shot!

“There comes a time in a man’s life when to get where he has to go—if there are no doors or windows—he walks through a wall.”
~Bernard Malamud

And of course a picture of a wall is boring, so maybe I have a door after all…
Point is, when you’re feeling blocked—by whatever—get creative about how you break out!

I lost a whole day! I had a procedure scheduled. Ahem, it involved roto-rooting and you get it every 10 years when you reach a certain age… Anyway, it started three hours late. The drugs lingered, and lingered, and lingered. I mostly slept on the long drive home. When I got home around five, I headed straight to bed and didn’t stir until the early morning hours, thus I am writing this blog a little after midnight, but I think it still counts as yesterday, so I didn’t miss my post!

Good news? I’m healthy for a 60-year-old. Or so the doctor told me, probably to make me feel better about the fact I have to go seem him every three years now! The nurse did a double-take on my age. I told her “fat don’t crack, but I really am 60.” I had three polyps, which he removed, and I have a couple small developing diverticula—so no more popcorn or poppy seeds for me. Sucks, because I LOVE popcorn. 🙁

What’s Saturday going to look like? No clue. There’s fencing to replace (mu SIL and sis will tackle that) and my dd has to have her hot water heater replaced (I’ll be with her for that because she’s weird about having strangers in her house (everyone has a phobia, right?). But here’s hoping I can get something done!

So, speaking of phobias… Mine is a fear of heights, although I did manage to rappel quite often during college and basic. Not sure how I managed without Xanax. What’s yours?

I wrote very few pages this month. Good news? It was a short month. I’ll have a chance to redeem myself in March.

February was complicated with my dad in the hospital for another stint. He’s home now, thank goodness. House repairs. Illness. Appointments. Life. Lots of excuses. None of them good enough.

What did I actually get done?

• Edits on two other authors’ works
• Revisions and more pages on a project for Entangled
• Selections for Stranded stories made, announcement, contracts sent

Yes, February was that pathetic. With no release! Which means, if I want to get back to the plan, March will be horrifically busy.

This is the list:

• Two novellas and a short story (Yeah, just shoot me.)
• Edits for Stranded stories
• 2d round edits for two authors’ manuscripts
• 1st round edits on a partial story for another author
• Box set collated and published

Yes, that’s quite enough. Too much. Something will fall off the calendar. I hope not multiple somethings.

The issue is focus and energy. Maybe I’m dragging ass because it’s nearing the end of winter, and the lack of sunshine is finally taking a toll. Maybe the problem is that I’m letting family insert themselves with no pushback from me. I have to set boundaries, and then I have to be the first one to respect those boundaries. They don’t nag; I simply start thinking about what I might be missing, and I close out the screen, telling myself I’ll work later, but later never comes. So, it’s really all my fault. And I tend to work best in my “manic” phases, when I start to panic over the lack of productivity and what that means to sales. Having to support myself is a huge motivator. Not so different for you, right?

So, any ideas how I can keep my BICHOK–Butt in Chair, Hands on Keyboard?

This has been one helluva month.

With everything happening on the home front, I haven’t been able to get pages written, so the release of the book I promised this month, Big Sky Wedding, is delayed. So, what’s going on? Too many things, family-related, to go into, but the big thing is my dad’s deteriorating health.

If you’ve been following my blog, you know that he broke his hip last year and went through surgery and rehab. He has other health-related issues—heart disease, kidney failure, diabetes, etc.—so, any new issues are always exacerbated. While in rehab, he developed ulcers on his feet. Since November, he’s been treated by a wound doctor and has had to remain off his feet, which hasn’t helped his hip surgery recovery. My dd and I have pitched in to clean and wrap his feet daily. Everyone’s pitched in to get him to his appointments. Sometimes, he’s on a walker, sometimes in wheelchair, when we take him to dialysis or his many appointments. Well, recently, he complained that he couldn’t breathe. Yes, too much fluid in his chest and around his heart. We’re pretty sure this is it. The fact he’s lived so long—he’s in his 80’s—has been a testament to his stubbornness. Right now, he’s back in the hospital, and my mom and aunt are staying nearby (the hospital is an hour-and-a-half away). I’m holding down the fort at home and preparing for them coming back soon, we hope. Anyway, that’s where we are with all of that, which has put me in a state of flux so far as work is concerned.

I have edits due on a story I wrote for Entangled. I have edits due back on two other authors’ projects. I have that book to write and a new collection to edit now that I’ve made the selections of the stories that will go into the volume. And that’s really what I’d like to take about now…

In case you didn’t see the notice I posted on my Collections website, I am pleased to announce the final lineup of authors who will be part of the Stranded: A Boys Behaving Badly Anthology! Congratulations go out to:

A.C. Dawn – The Kiss of a Stranger’s Flame
A.J. Harris – Shelter From the Storm
Ara Geller – Reviving Artemis
Delilah Devlin – Quincy Down Under
Kenzie Mathews – Hourglass
Kimberly Dean – Out of This World
Kimberly Lithe – Burning Stars
Lucrecia Christina – Switching Call
Melanie Jayne – A Change of Predicament
Michal Scott – Put It in a Book
N.J. Walters – Undercover Lover
Sam Heathers – Too Deep
Sukie Chapin – Going Down

UPDATE: The winner is…Laura LeCapelain!
*~*~*

Can you believe January is almost gone? I’m old enough I still can’t believe we’re 19 years into the new century!

January zipped right past me! And what did I accomplish? Not as much as I’d hoped, but I was still pretty darn productive…

January’s Work

First, I wrote and published Animal! Woot! Book 7 of the Montana Bounty Hunter series! Feels so strange to say that because I feel like I just finished Reaper (Book #1!).

I edited two fellow authors’ stories. One a novella, one a very long novel! I’m actually wrapping up that one today!

I’m teaching a plotting bootcamp with some very shy authors who haven’t taxed me nearly enough with questions!!!! So, time-wise, I guess I’m getting off lucky there.

And lastly, I’ve been reading, reading, reading stories for my Stranded anthology. Wish I could say I have my decisions all wrapped up, but I don’t. That may take me another week. 🙁

So, it was a busy, productive month for this very tired and stressed-out author-editor-teacher… I did manage to make time for some fun treasure-hunting trips (thrift store shopping!) with my dd, so it wasn’t all work and no play!

February’s Goals

February looks horrendous!!!! I’m almost scared to turn the calendar page to think about it. I have one novella to write (Big Sky Wedding), another to finish (Hot Zone). I have at least three editing projects booked. (Doesn’t sound like much, but when I bookend them with my own writing schedule… Gah!) And I have to finish a short story before the end of the month, because I want to wrap up the With His SEAL Team mini-series. We’ll see… And I do have to wrap up the Stranded stories and begin editing that whopper of a book!

Aside from the writing/editing gig, I want to re-open my Etsy store, so I’m hoping to make time to sit in my craft room and make pretty things. I don’t make any money doing it—certainly, not enough to pay for my passion—but it’s stress relief, and I need more of that! I want to add things other than jewelry to my Etsy store, like painted boxes, junk-store refurbs, etc. Fun things that will help make some of my thrift store hoard dwindle!

I hope your January is ending with a bang and that you managed to check off some of the items on your To Do list!

Contest

Tell me what things you checked off January’s To do list for a chance to win a $5 Amazon gift card!