When I started writing my young adult contemporary Cecily Taylor Series, my plan was to take a high school girl and have all of her dreams come true and let her see the reality of it all; that means I’d show what it’s really like to date her favorite singer/songwriter and what it’s like to be a well-known actress/model. Sure, she experiences the euphoria, but there’s also the fact every little thing is scrutinized by strangers on the internet. Dealing with mean and deeply personal remarks in the comments section becomes a reality for Cecily in In Over Her Head: Lights, Camera, Anxiety. However, I wasn’t prepared for the flood of messages I got when I posted an excerpt from the book where Cecily reads the comments about herself after being in Andrew Holiday’s music video.

Here’s the excerpt from In Over Her Head: Lights, Camera, Anxiety:

It felt real, but can you date your teen idol? Is it even smart to? And why hadn’t he messaged me yet? I’m sure the plane had Wi-Fi. Other guys texted nonstop to the point of being annoying, yet my phone was silent.

“Maybe. It was just nice to see someone being authentic,” I said.

“It would have been awful if he was fake—can you imagine?” she asked. “Honestly, when you said he was just like how he comes across in interviews—I did jumpy claps. Not gonna lie, it made me look like a toddler who just saw ice cream.”

“Yeah, he seems like the real deal, don’t you think?”

“Mm-hmm,” she said distractedly as she tried to find a place to park. “Must be nice to have a hot pop star text you. Do you think he will contact you again?”

If he doesn’t, then I’ll die and probably never leave my room again. “I hope he does. I’d be seriously bummed if I—” Get phone dumped, get blocked online, see he’s dating someone else. “Don’t hear from him again.”

“Does anyone else know he was the reason Zach got so mad at you when he walked in on Andrew trying to kiss you at the video premiere?”

“No, Zach didn’t tell anyone. I feel like it’d be weird if I told people that’s what happened. Like they wouldn’t believe me and think I was making it up to get attention,” I said.

“Yeah, I already heard a few people saying stuff.”

My stomach dropped. “Like what?”

“Huh? Oh…nothing major.” She gripped the steering wheel. “It’s impossible to find a spot on the street on a weekend.”

I pressed her again, and she shrugged.

“There’s a couple comments on his social media pages.”

Pulling out my phone, I went to the video’s link online and the first comment that came up was:

NoOneAndrewFan: Why did they pick HER out of all the girls in the world?

CaliGirlTwo: They couldn’t find any better than that chick?

Holidate008: She’s like if the word “plain,” was a person.

MusicIsLife: I think the point is that she’s not supposed to be hot, you guys

Holidate008: I think she’s supposed to be the opposite of that other girl in the video.

CaliGirlTwo: Obviously Andrew has a jealous girlfriend and told him to find blah girls to be in his video.

SleepAllDayz: I bet Andrew’s managers don’t want his fans to be jealous of any of the girls they cast in his videos. Mission accomplished.

Meghynn: Seriously, I’ve seen cuter girls walking down my street and I live out in the sticks.

KellyKellz: I bet the other actress said they couldn’t cast another hot girl.

Meghynn: Andrew obviously didn’t do the casting for this one.

Holidateforever: Wow! Seems like no one has anything nice to say, all you guys want to do is trash people. if you don’t like what Andrew’s doing in his video… then bye!

TeenaRoger: Guys, Andrew would hate all these negative vibes! If you don’t have anything good to say about his work then don’t follow his page, don’t listen to his music, and DON’T bother commenting.

Holidateforever: I think she’s pretty. Jealousy isn’t cute, you guys.

“Oh crap. I didn’t even think to look at the comments before now. I guess it was so surreal to think I was actually in a music video that it didn’t even occur to me to go on and see what people were saying,” I said as my face burned with embarrassment. “Has everyone at school seen these?”

“Don’t worry about it. People suck and if it makes you feel any better, a lot of people at school aren’t even talking about it because they don’t want you to get all stuck up,” she said.

That was supposed to make me feel better?

“I was barely in the video. Why is everyone attacking me for a five second spot?” I asked trying to keep myself from crying.

“It sucks. I wish Andrew was here and he could just wrap you in a blanket and make you a cup of tea,” Lila said.

I laughed despite the fact I was trying not to throw up on myself. “Yup, like the perfect boyfriend.”

***

Right after that excerpt was posted on a book tour, my messages went crazy with people sharing their own experiences of dealing with mean comments online. Everyone from teens to adults to people in the public eye shared how this scene made them feel. However, I also had people who hadn’t experienced it, but had a family member who was hoping to become well-known or famous (either with singing, acting, modeling, and podcasting or as an influencer, etc.), and this scene made them rethink everything.

The scary thing about this scene for me is the fact it was inspired by a real comment I saw on posted under a singer’s video. It stood out to me as the person didn’t think the actress in the video was attractive enough to be “worthy” of being in the music video of this particular pop star. It struck me that this person was putting this comment out on a very public site for everyone to see and that there was a chance the actress herself could see it. I know some people have thick skin and don’t let things like that bother them, but there’s also something to be said about the old saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

It also made me think about other people reading the comment and if they’d look at the actress and compare themselves, and then walk away feeling self-conscious about their own appearances. Social media can be fun and informative, but it can also be toxic and it would help us all if we were more mindful about what we posted and read online.

I would love to know your thoughts on toxic social media comments. Please leave them below. I will leave you with this Bernard Meltzer quote: “Before you speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid.”

Pick up a copy of the book here. It’s free in Kindle Unlimited:

Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Over-Her-Head-Lights-Anxiety-ebook/dp/B09WZV4P3P
Amazon CAN: https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B09WZV4P3P
Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B09WZV4P3P

About the Author

Krysten Lindsay Hager is a bestselling author of young adult, middle grade, and contemporary romance. Krysten writes because she loves bringing people swoony moments & hope-filled happily ever afters. Her books are known for making you feel all the feels.

Website: https://www.krystenlindsay.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/krystenlindsay/
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/krystenlindsay/

This doesn’t necessarily mean I’m going to do something foolish this week. Let’s study the card. The god displayed here is kind of easy to guess. He’s wearing a crown of grape leaves and grapes. He has tiny horns on his head. So, he’s Dionysus, the god of so many fun things: wine, parties, insanity, theater, and more. See the eagle sitting on the branch above him? It’s likely his dad, Zeus, making sure young Dionysus doesn’t do something really stupid. There’s a cave behind him and the sun is rising in the background, so I’m assuming he was partying all night and is just coming out. Is he drunk and ready to fall? He looks too merry. I think he intends to jump.

What on earth does this mean for me? There’s a hint of impulsiveness and high spirits here. So, that falls in line with the plans for the week. The kids only have half a week of school, so they’ll be underfoot creating chaos. We’ll be cooking meals together. The adults’ Christmas (the kids give us gifts before Christmas so we can concentrate on Santa and their gifts on Christmas Day) will be sometime this coming weekend because of my SIL’s shift with the PD. So, there will definitely be some celebrating going on. I envision movie nights, fun dinners, game nights, etc. We’re a fun-loving crowd. What does this mean for work for me? I likely have to plan to get it done in the early hours of the day, before all my little chaos agents rise.

Open Contests

1. Today is Letter Writing Day! (Contest) — Last day to enter! Win a FREE book!
2. Saturday Puzzle-Contest: When winter comes… — This one ends soon! Win an Amazon gift card!
3. Favorite Christmas/Winter Holiday Movie Quote! (Contest) — Win an Amazon gift card!
4. Saturday Puzzle-Contest — More Christmas Cheer — Win an Amazon gift card!

UPDATE: The winner is…Beverly!
*~*~*

Last night’s First Annual Ugly Sweater/White Elephant Gift Christmas Party was a huge success! The gifts were hilarious. Mine was epic. I won’t say what it was because it’s political in nature, and everyone watched my face to see how I’d react. Perfect gift, actually. Then we moved on to party games, like rolling a can on the table to stop in front of a little, cheap gift we wanted, picking up uncooked beans with chopsticks, charades… There were finger foods, of course! So much fun. And I say “First Annual” because everyone agreed this would be added to our list of Christmas family traditions. Any excuse for a family party in the Devlin house. 🙂 (My dd and I talked about what other holidays we could pump up with some party fun, too.)

Anyway, this is the last partial week of school, and then the kids will be underfoot for the holiday. Yay! And yikes, too. I still have to wrap gifts and get them under the tree. I’m always last doing it.

On to the Puzzle!

For a chance to win a $5 Amazon gift card, solve the puzzle then tell me how close you are to being finished with Christmas/Holiday preparations!

If you read the title and thought I was speaking of all the holiday rubbish that no one needs or ever asked for being sold by department stores and online, I’d say that is a pretty good guess. However, it’s incorrect. The holiday crud I’m referring to is bodily sickness.

Several years ago, I began to recognize a pattern in myself of becoming sick on Christmas Day or shortly after that. Initially, I thought it might have been some psychosomatic way to avoid those family members I didn’t wish to interact with. While this was a convenient offshoot, it wasn’t the reason it manifested.

After brief introspection and evaluation of circumstances, I quickly realized my very real illness was a byproduct of stress. Mentally, I would compile anxiety regarding creating a wonderful Christmas experience for everyone. This included everything from preparing holiday snacks to cooking to cleaning and preparing my home for visitors to decorating (interior and exterior) to purchasing the perfect gift. I had addresses to collect for all the Christmas cards to mail, outfits to assemble for events, and hair and nail appointments to look my best on the big day. In truth, I didn’t give two wooden nickels about the majority of these things. I only cared because others told me I should—others expected it of me. Left alone, I would have made it a PJ and given heartfelt, sappy homemade gifts as seen on Hallmark holiday movies. However, that wasn’t the kind of environment I was raised in. Sadly, much emphasis was placed on material items and public/social appearances. Thus, I would do my best to meet these expectations.

Begin Phase Two.

To accomplish these numerous tasks, I would run myself ragged and jump through a football field of burning hoops. Store after store, I would walk until I felt my arches falling. My eyeballs would bulge and water from scanning the internet. My head would ache from gift wrapping. (How many times can a roll of tape be lost in one sitting? And why is it so difficult to find the correct size box?) My muscles screamed at me from scrubbing. None of these things I found fun or rewarding. And by the time Christmas arrived, all I felt was tired and relieved. This is when I both mentally and physically would crash. My body responded the only way it knew, and that usually was with some type of respiratory illness.

Some family members would accuse me of faking sick by drumming it up all in my mind. “Oh, she’s not really ill. She’s just being lazy,” some would whisper. I didn’t know laziness came with fevers and congestion and lasted a week. Apparently, my wallet didn’t know it, either, when I had to pay for after-hours clinic care. And also, I apparently was good at tricking medical staff into hearing congestion in my chest and giving me diagnoses (e.g., pharyngitis, strep throat, and the flu). Then, one year, a physician informed me that my immune system was pretty crappy, and he suspected that when stressed, I would weaken it so much that it could not fight off infection. As a result, I was catching anything airborne that blew in my direction. He suggested that I should do less over the holidays and allow myself more time to rest.

Of course, I didn’t listen, at first, until one year I became especially ill. Actually, it wasn’t the illness that did me in. It was the nonproductive cough that lingered for weeks after. It was so deep that I felt I had swallowed a box of matches with each breath. I literally walked around clutching my chest like Fred G. Sanford. During the day it was bad, but at night, it became unbearable. Well, I learned my lesson.

The following year, I decided to take heed and began holiday preparations early. Instead of sorting through Christmas cards and trying to best match the design and card to each person, I purchased a box of assorted designs from the dollar store and randomly added the names. I cut the amount of Christmas treats I made in half, only decorated the interior, and put a time limit on the time I spent gift shopping. I still ended up getting sick that year but not nearly as severe as previous years.

I thought I was alone in this until recently when I was having lunch with a group of friends and the topic came up. Being who I am, after the discussion, I began researching, and this phenomenon isn’t uncommon.

1. Exposure to large crowds while shopping and traveling. Viruses and bacteria can loom anywhere. However, the body is amazing. When we are exposed to some conditions long enough, we build up a tolerance or immunity to it. But when we travel or in large crowds, we are subjected new viruses and bacteria. Thus, the probability of contracting an airborne illness or a germ from an infected surface increases. If avoiding crowds isn’t something that you can or want to do, you may want to avoid people who are visibly sick or touch surfaces that are known to have not been cleaned.
2. Forgetting to wash hands. How many surfaces do we touch when in public (e.g., opening doors, removing items from shelves, handshaking, etc.)? This act can transfer germs from a surface onto our hands. Then, without thinking, we may touch our mouth, eyes, or nose—increasing the probability of making us sick. Now, let’s be clear. Will failing to wash one’s hands after touching a public surface always result in illness? No. In fact, I don’t know scientific odds for that. But can it happen? Yes. Does it sometimes happen? Yes. Does handwashing help prevent it? Yes.
3. A frequent change in temperature. When researching, the information found listed this as going from inside to outside. However, I’m going to take this a step further and go out on a limb to include something that isn’t research-based. I live in the deep south, and anyone in this area can tell you it’s like a Heidi Klum Project Runway intro: One day you’re in a sauna. The next day you’re out on a witch’s boobie. Mother Nature is a bipolar roller coaster. It has literally snowed on day, and the next shot up into the 80s. Mostly, it is warm, but when the temps get to bouncing, noses get to running. There’s not much one can do about Mother Nature’s fluctuation but dressing appropriately to maintain a constant body temp from one setting to the next helps.
4. Lack of sleep. This one is easy. Being well rested can help stave off illness.
5. Reduce stress. Give yourself the grace to not have to do it all during the holidays. When possible, delegate tasks to people you trust and know will get the job done. Simplify tasks (e.g., purchasing prewrapped gifts, doing meal prep in advance, reducing number of purchases, etc.). Every little bit helps.

Read the rest of this entry »

‘Tis the season and all!

It’s just 11 days until Christmas, so I thought I’d give you an early gift. This 12,000-word novelette is yours. All you have to do is follow the link. Enjoy!

Newly widowed Merry Winslow treks west to claim an unexpected inheritance. Upon arriving, she discovers she inherited a brothel! Rather than being dismayed, Merry’s intrigued, thinking it the perfect way to shed the shackles of propriety that have subdued her wild and impulsive nature. Only problem is, she needs to learn to manage her new business.

Nathan Boone is amused by Merry’s determination and knows the perfect way to begin her instruction. When he opens the peephole for Merry to peer inside as one of the brothel’s “soiled doves” pleasures a customer, he reveals the passion hidden beneath Merry’s “widow’s weeds”.

Get your FREE copy now!

UPDATE: The winner is…Gayle!
*~*~*

“Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.”
~ Home Alone 2

Okay, so my choice for favorite quote isn’t inspirational/aspirational—but that’s my sense of humor. Your assignment today, should you choose to accept it (I’m going all original series Mission Impossible here) is to find your favorite quote and post it in the comments. It’s easy, swear. Just Google favorite Christmas or Holiday quotes! Share it below for a chance to win a $5 Amazon gift card!

Dear Readers and Friends,

My little happy-place project is finally here! It’s not bounty hunters or Navy SEALs. It’s a lot closer to home than that in more ways than I can describe.

I hope you’ll all take a chance on a fun, small-town story, with a touch of mystery, paranormal, and science fiction. I’d love for you to pick up a copy and read it. And if you have time after you’ve done so, I’d appreciate it if you’d leave a review. Reviews aren’t for me; they’re for other readers who need to know about your experience with the story. I can say it’s sexy, fun, and exciting, but readers believe other readers.

Happy Reading!
~DD

Little Green Dreams

A tabloid reporter seeks the truth behind an alien abduction claim made by a woman whose husband disappeared, although the truth may destroy his chances to woo her beautiful daughter…

Sometimes, Joe Franchetti hates his job at the National Informer, especially when he’s assigned to cover stories involving aliens from another world. When he is sent to investigate the story of a woman in rural Arkansas who claims aliens abducted her husband, he vows to debunk her story, no matter how much the truth might hurt her attractive daughter.

Sandra Billingsley has a problem. Her stepfather is missing, and her mother is the prime suspect in his disappearance. In addition to protecting her eccentric mother from a possible murder investigation, now she must contend with a national tabloid reporter set on exposing her mother as a murderess or a madwoman.

While the investigation turns up more suspects and the local townspeople scheme to profit from the “alien invasion,” Joe and Sandra work together to unravel the mystery, knowing their attraction is doomed to end in pain when the truth is revealed.

Get your copy now!
Also in print!