UPDATE: The winner is…Pansy Petal!
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Halloween is always a fun time of year for our family. It’s the kickoff to the holiday season—Halloween, Thanksgiving, St. Nicklaus Day, Christmas, New Year’s Eve… We celebrate them all because we love excuses for celebrating.

For a chance to win a $5 Amazon gift card, solve the puzzle, and then offer suggestions in the comments for Halloween movies or activities that would be fun for the family!

For those interested, here’s my health update:  Read the rest of this entry »

UPDATE: The winner is…Carol!
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Clothing and courage have much to do with each other. ~ Sara Jeannette Duncan

I’m a quotes girl. I love affirmations and pithy sayings. I collect books of them. Every now and then, I open one to a random page, seeking inspiration. I opened one of the books to a random page today. This quote, I didn’t understand at first glance.

So, I looked up Sara JD. She was a female journalist in the late 1800s. Then she wrote popular novels that often contained bits about politics and societal norms, so maybe the quote meant something to her in her journey toward self-fulfillment as a writer and observer moving around in a more privileged set.

I read the quote and think about how my attitude toward clothing has changed for me. I had very little fashion courage as a grown woman. I dressed according to trends when in public. Being in the military for so long, wearing uniforms, took any fashion decisions away from me, and I really didn’t mind one bit. When I entered the corporate and academic worlds, I dressed according to those norms.

Not until I became an author did I dress a bit more flamboyantly—but only sparingly, mostly at conferences—because I grew used to being out of the public eye for long stints and dressed for comfort when at home.

These days, comfort is the only priority for me. At home, I wear loose, soft nightgowns. I want nothing cinching my waist where I imagine (perhaps) I can feel the cancer crowding my organs. When I go out, mostly to medical appointments, I wear the loosest shorts or joggers, usually in a size too large, so that I can pull the stretch waistband high above those organs. When I go to chemo appointments, I know I’ll be there for hours and hours, so it’s joggers and a spaghetti-strapped tank to give the medical personnel easy access to my port. I add a zip-up hoodie. And, of course, I add a pop of color—the loudest, most attention-grabbing chemo turban I have. It’s a middle finger to my cancer and to anyone who looks with pity at my bald head. I don’t need pity; I’d rather get a smile.

So, back to the quote. Does it mean something to you? Comment for a chance to win your choice of a download of any one of my books. 

That song by the Eurythmics is playing in my head this morning. I awoke at 4 A.M. but felt refreshed. When I drifted off before 10 last night, I was still floating on a little leftover fentanyl, was lifted a bit by the hydrocodone I took to ease the itchy ache of the new CHEMO PORT sitting just under my skin on the right side of my chest, and was assisted by the kick of the melatonin I took. I was determined my sleep would indeed be sweet and deep.

With sleep, all things feel possible. Without it, I’ve discovered, I can actually dip into depression—something I’ve never really experienced before—and I don’t like it. It changes me. So, I am looking at planning for better sleep come chemo week (next week).

So, with sleep in mind, here’s today’s challenge! See the pretty watercolor below? (Wish it was mine!) For a chance to win a $5 Amazon gift card, what helps you get a great night’s sleep? Or, tell me what she’s dreaming about…

Well, the day I had dreaded came yesterday. I woke up, showered, and as I was rubbing my hands through my hair to swipe away the suds, my fingers pulled away clumps of hair. It was worse when I stepped out of the shower and attempted to blow-dry my hair. My brush couldn’t get through the knots of hair and pulled our more clumps.

I gave up and called out to my girls. My dd and the 20-year-old went to work, first completing the blow-dry without bothering to brush my hair, then using my SIL’s hair clippers to shave my head. We’d been preparing for this day. I’d made tons of jokes about what my head would look like. I’d imagined a bowling-ball-round kopf. Or worse, the bald woman in Total Recall.

Or perhaps Uncle Fester.

Actually, with a little well applied smoky-eye makeup, I could be a sexier “Aunt Festrine.” Hmmm…

When the 15-year-old got home from school, she said, “You know, you look like The Ancient One in Dr. Strange.”

And I’m okay with that.

Hair is only hair. I met with the oncologist today, wearing one of my chemo hats to protect my head from the sun and spare people’s eyes. We went through where we were going with treatments. I had another white blood cell booster shot. I’m set for port surgery on Thursday and another round of chemo next Monday. I’m marching on.

And just to keep it real, here’s me after the girls shaved me bald. There will be no tears. It’s just hair…

UPDATE: The winner is…Steph!
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Did you notice I didn’t post yesterday? Sorry about that. I posted daily without fail for over five years. Now, if I’m tired and I don’t have a guest’s post, I just won’t. Rest has been my priority. Insomnia has been a thing for the past few weeks. I can be plenty tired when I lay down, but the moment my head hits the pillow… Well, at first, it was due to painful muscles and joints. I got into the habit of sucking down a hydro at night, but it doesn’t really help with sleep. Last night, my dd gave me a melatonin gummy, and I slept for 7.5 hours!!!!!  I feel sooooo good. The only other thing that happened this week was I had a blood draw, and the clinic called me a couple of hours later and told me to get to Hot Springs ASAP because my white blood count had dropped into the dumpster, and they needed me to come in for an injection to help with that. So, my poor dd had yet another appointment to take me to. Next week’s calendar is pretty full, too. Multiple appointments, my port surgery, finally. Then, the following week, I’ll be sitting in the chemo chair again. Ugh. I’m still trying to figure out the rhythm of the appointments and how they affect my body so I can try to get to a new normal.

But enough of that!

All the girls are home today, so we plan on having a lazy movie day later this afternoon. Pizza and The Proposal, I think. The 11-year-old’s first celebrity crush is Ryan Reynolds, so we thought that would be fun for her. In the meantime, I have some work I need to get out of the way. The weather has taken a sudden turn. The air is a little nippy outside. It’s almost sweater weather. That’s not nearly as good as swim weather, but we have to enjoy the change of seasons. It’s that or be grumpy throughout the Fall, and that’s not permitted!

I hope you all have a lazy, pleasant day. Solve the puzzle then tell me what you’re planning to do for a chance to win a $5 Amazon gift card!

UPDATE: The winner is…Tianna Toups!
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This is the sky right now (my dd took the picture). The clouds look like a pretty, cottony, baby-blue blanket, although the forecast is for heat and sunny skies today. Thought I’d share since I haven’t seen clouds like that covering the entire sky before. 🙂

Just to catch you up… I start chemo on Monday. I had hoped to get a port installed this week, but it didn’t happen. So, I’ll get my chemo on my arm, which I hope doesn’t interfere too much with me using my hands. I had a call yesterday from the nurse at the cancer center to go over what I should expect to happen during and after my chemo.

• The drugs they give me to help my body tolerate the treatment.
• Side effects.
• How shitty I’ll feel afterward and for how long—basically for 5 or 6 days following treatment.
• How soon my hair will start falling out—perhaps as soon as 2 weeks.
• The blood draws I have to have Thursdays before my Monday treatments to see how my white blood cells are doing.
• Drink tons of water/juice/sprite to keep hydrated because that’s a real concern.
• It looks like chemo will continue into December, once every three weeks, followed by immunotherapy every 42 days after.

Hopefully, I’ll respond well to everything. She didn’t say it, but you all have said that attitude is everything. I’m ready to kick ass. Thanks to everyone for their suggestions of what to pack for my first chemo treatment on Monday. I’ve settled on…

1. 🧦 — socks, fuzzy ones
2. 🛏️ — I couldn’t find a blanket emoji!
3. 🎧 — my dd ordered me a pair to use with my iPhone
4. 📱 — my iPhone
5. 📚 — a paperback book in case the Wi-Fi sucks
6. 📔 — a notebook with good paper that I can write in or draw/paint
7. ✏️ — pencil for sketching
8. 🖊️ — pen for writing (I hate putting thoughts down in something erasable!)
9. 🎨 — a tiny portable paint palette with a water-brush
10. 🥙 — food

Maybe I’ll add one of the 11-year-old’s Squishmallows to use as a pillow. For sure, I’m going to wear a superhero T-shirt.

For a chance to win a $5 Amazon gift card, what snacks should I pack?

Originally, I was titling this piece “Conquering Change,” but I haven’t conquered anything. Instead, I’m chipping away at needed changes. The biggest chunk I’ve chiseled off is making the decision that I had to change my job.

I’ve been a published author since 2016, but for almost three decades I’ve been a sports journalist. As a reporter, I’ve covered professional events, college events, and even taken some photos at a few NFL games. I spent twenty years covering a real love of mine, the Indianapolis 500. I covered my last race in 2016 to concentrate on being an author.

After six months, I missed being a sports reporter and found a compromise. I decided to cover high school sports for the local weekly newspaper whose coverage area included two high schools in my community. In a way, it was a dream job, because I had the freedom to continue being an author but still have the extra income of being a reporter.

I fell in love with being a reporter for high school sports. I developed wonderful relationships with coaches, athletes and others in the community. I watched some incredible events and athletes who never gave up, but more than anything, I loved seeing how these coaches were more interested in guiding kids to be good people more than winning games.

Then something happened.

I was diagnosed with cancer. I went through treatment and went into remission, but the lingering effects of treatment changed the game for me. I did go back to work, but it was difficult with the exhaustion and chemo brain causing trouble in interviews. It got better, but I was never like I was before treatment. Nine months again, the cancer returned. Now, I’m on a different treatment which is not as draining as chemo.

I still couldn’t keep up. The late nights, weekends, hard bleachers, press boxes with no heat or air took its toll, and I had to make a difficult decision.

I couldn’t do it anymore.

But what else could I do? Reporting was all I knew.

A CPA firm took a chance on me even though I had no experience working in an office or working with software other than Word. I think I nailed the interview when I said I was used to unhappy people yelling at me. Grandmothers at sporting events can be pretty scary.

I’m in my fifth month at this job, and I love it. I don’t work nights or weekends. I work indoors with heat and air conditioning, and my two other coworkers are already like family. I have a cozy chair to sit in, and the owner comes into the office maybe once a week. I’ve been yelled at twice over the phone by people who still haven’t received their tax refund. (The IRS is six or more months behind in processing paper returns). The yelling doesn’t bother me because it’s not something I did, and since I have the health issue I have, most problems seem pretty minor to me.

I guess what I want to say is big change is scary, and something we don’t want to do but are sometimes forced to do. At this point in my life, it was the right decision, and in doing so I have a whole new set of people who care about me and are fun to be around.

My writing has stalled a lot during the last two years, but I haven’t given up completely. I’ve had some short stories in anthologies and have another story in a Valentine anthology from the Indiana Romance Writers group which released February 1^st.

Once I adjust more to my new normal, I hope the writing juices began to flow as opposed to trickle. Until then, I’m going to enjoy this change.

https://www.amazon.com/Lucky-Valentine-Limited-Romance-Anthology-ebook/dp/B0BKJZ93TB
Apple Books: https://books.apple.com/…/lucky-valentine…/id6444009196
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/…/lucky-valentine-a-limited…
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1277604