10 Things Guys Would NOT Say to Each Other

Here are my top 10 phrases which I doubt two guys would say to each other (or maybe I’m wrong).

1. Did you catch Dr. Phil today?

2. I’m tired of beer and wings, let’s make some Cosmopolitans and cut up some veggies.

3. No, yours is way bigger than mine.

4. Do you want all my tools?

5. Let’s go to the mall.

6. It’s nippy out there, come on in and I’ll make us some tea.

7. I wish those Victoria Secret models would cover up more, they’re not leaving anything to the imagination.

8. Not into shoot em’ up movies, let’s see if there’s a good flick on Lifetime.

9. Let’s take that quiz online and see which character we are. My friends think I’mCharlotte, but I think I’m more like Carrie.

10. Do these jeans make my ass look too big?

Please feel free to add your thoughts and what you think is taboo in man-speak land.

Speaking of men, it’s that time of year again…Spring—When a Bachelor’s fancy turns to…Cheesy Pick-up Lines

I don’t believe guys really use pick up lines any longer, but I thought it would be fun to list 10 cheesy lines that some bachelor in an alternate universe may be using. However, I do think us gals have been the recipient of a cheesy line at one time or another in our lives, some of them were funny, hey, some may even have worked for a few of you perhaps?

My Top 10 Cheesy Pick-up Lines:

1. Do you want to have breakfast? Should I call you or nudge you?

2. Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world.

3. Love the color of your dress; it would look great on my floor.

4. There’s something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn’t have your phone number in it.

5. You’re so damn hot; I’d marry your brother just to get in your family.

6. If this bar is a meat market, then I’d have to say you must be the prime rib.

7. Stop, drop, and roll, baby, because you are on fire.

8. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

9. Your daddy must have been a baker, because you’ve got a nice set of buns.

10. I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your place?

Gals, please feel free to share any lines you may have heard.

Guys, if you delivered a line, please feel free to share as well. We promise we won’t judge….much.

About Selena Robins:

Selena Robins writes genre-defying romances, with a sprinkle of mystery, suspense, heavy on the comedy, plenty of snap on the dialogue and heavy on the steam for the sexy. A chocolate guru, Selena loves to dance with her dog, sing into her hairbrush and write in her PJ’s. In love with her family, friends, books, laughter, hockey, debating and red wine (sometimes all at the same time). Selena loves writing sassy heroines and hot heroes (the ones your mama warned you about, but secretly wished she’d dated a few in her life.

To learn more about Selena Robins and her books, you can visit her website at: https://selenarobins.com/ or stop by and chat with her on her blog: https://selenarobinsmusings.com/

I decided to go a little out there, and I’ve started a “hotwifing” series. Most of you are probably asking what hotwifing is!  I had to ask the same question when a friend of mine told me that several of my Courtesans stories were about hotwifing. And here’s the explanation: it’s where the woman in the relationship steps out with other men, but her husband (or boyfriend) doesn’t have other women. Nope, it’s all one-sided in the woman’s favor. Often she’ll come home to tell hubby all about it. They’ll most likely have some really hot sex reliving her experience. Of course, the couple has to have rules, things they can and can’t do, etc. If you want a much better explanation than I’ve just given, you can read my friend’s book: Hotwifing by Cody Alston. She does a much better job of it than I just did.

I found the concept very interesting. I fell into it by accident. I was writing the Courtesans Tales (specifically Triple Play in Yours for the Night) and since the heroines in those stories are paid courtesans, I figured they were going to have to do far more kinky things than I’d written so far. But for some reason, I just couldn’t let the hero in my story have sex with another woman. See, my heroine was supposed to be his total focus, and it diminished her if he actually wanted someone else. So I decided that he enjoyed watching her with other men. Sometimes he participated, but sometimes he simply got off on her pleasure. Then they had fabulous sex afterward. Even when she was with other men, she did it for him, to give him pleasure, always thinking about what would make him hot. I had a lot of fun writing that story, and others with the same theme: the woman has more than one partner, but the man doesn’t. In a way, it could be any woman’s dream, she gets all the pleasure, but she doesn’t have to share her man. I just don’t think women are built to share, but some men are.

So now I’ve started the West Coast Hotwifing series. It’s set in the business world because I was an accountant in manufacturing for years, so that’s what I know. And boy, are there are a lot of naughty things going on at this little company I’ve created. The first story up in the series is Revenge Sex. Here, we’ve got a hotwife who can’t follow the rules. And we’ve got another woman who’d love to take her place. Who’s going to get the man in the end?! I’ve also completed the second book, Submitting to the Boss. This one’s got hotwifing and a bit of BDSM! You can read more about Revenge Sex at https://amzn.to/tQ6E4g and Submitting to the Boss at https://amzn.to/H0Cpco.

Be sure to drop by my blog, www.jasminehaynes.blogspot.com, for more excerpts. I’m also joining a new blog with a bunch of lovely slutty ladies. Starting today, May 18^th, we’re going to have two weeks of great giveaways, so I hope you’ll stop by https://69shadesofsmut.wordpress.com/ to learn all about us!

Contest from Sheri Whitefeather!  Leave a comment for a chance to win
a free download of THE VAMPIRE PENDANT e-book and a Gothic cross keychain
to ward off vampires (or simply keep them under control, if you prefer. )
Two winners will be chosen at random.

FIRST TIMES. . .

Thank you, Delilah, for having me as a guest blogger.  I’m thrilled to be here and have to say how much I love your clever tag-line (Get in Bed with Delilah.  Everyone else has!).   I’m sure you hear that all the time, but it always makes me smile.

I’m celebrating the release of my 40^th book, but it’s also my first self-published project, as well as my first vampire-themed story.  Lots of firsts!  So, that’s my subject for the day.  Other firsts that all of us can share.   Ready.  Set.   Here’s mine.

First childhood memory:  I was two years old, and I was with my sister, Lanie, and Nonna (our-great grandmother from Italy).   I was chewing gum and I took it out of my mouth and tucked it into the dirt of a nearby potted plant.  I then laughed my fool head off, thinking it was the funniest thing ever.

First crush:  It was kindergarten and his name was Bruce.  I don’t remember anything else about him.  My first celebrity crushes:  Herman (Peter Noone) from Herman’s Hermits and Monkee Davy Jones (may he rest in cutie-pie peace).

First car I ever drove:  A 1969 Firebird convertible.   Fun!

First movie that made me cry:  Bambi

First song that made me swoon:  I think we’re alone now by Tommy James & the Shondells.   I was about nine years old when it came out (way before Tiffany’s version) and I imagined myself running off with a boy when I got older, much like in the lyrics.

First time I had sex (yikes!):  I was a teenager and his name was Dean.  And, yes, I remember more about him than I do about kindergarten Bruce!

First mentor:  This would be my theater make-up instructor in college.  He boosted my confidence and made me feel smart and savvy and creative.  My other mentors would be the throng of teachers who told me that I should be a writer.   I was quite young during those experiences and didn’t understand that they were mentoring me because I didn’t want to be a writer then.  The writing bug didn’t hit until I was in my thirties.

First muse:   A man known to my readers as the Online Warrior.   He is a romantic friend (yum!) and an artist and art model.   In fact, I keep one of his modeling nudes beside my computer.  Other people have inspired me, but not the way he does.  If you’re curious to see him, here’s a link    https://cheriefeather.blogspot.com/2011/11/online-warrior.html  where I posted his naked image.  You’ll also see that I plan to write a series of books he inspired.

First books I raved about:  When I was a kid, it was WYKNEN, BYNKEN AND NOD.  In my teenage years, it was two classics–THE SCARLET LETTER and TARZAN OF THE APES.  In my twenties, THE OTHER SIDE OF MIDNIGHT by Sidney Shelton, CLAN OF THE CAVE BEAR by Jean M.  Auel,  and RICH MAN POOR MAN by Irwin Shaw.   In my thirties, A KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR by Jude Deveraux .  In my forties, Kathleen Eagle’s FIRE AND RAIN and Lucia St. Clair Robson’s heart-torturing epic RIDE THE WIND.  And, finally, in my fifties, it would be Suzanne Collins’s HUNGER GAMES trilogy.

Now onto my current release:

THE VAMPIRE PENDANT is the first book in the Blood Genies series,  erotic romance novellas featuring vampire hybrids (genies/vampires) living inside antique jewelry and taking blood in exchange for granting wishes.

As a teenager, Tessa Clarins was damaged by a fire, and now the scarred twenty-five-year-old virgin has been made beautiful by a wish.   But there’s a catch.  Tessa’s wish is only temporary, and so is her affair with Anthony Dumont, the wildly romantic “gen-vamp” feasting on her veins and stealing her innocence.  Night after night Tessa puts her heart on the line.  But so does Anthony, leaving sex, love, and secrets in his blood-hungry wake.

Purchase at Amazon
Purchase at Barnes and Noble

Happy wishes, everyone!

www.sheriwhiteather.com

Thanks so much, Delilah, for having me as a guest! And, don’t worry, I came alone — I didn’t bring my voices! Many authors talk about how their characters “speak” to them, and there’s frequently that teasing back-and-forth argument you have with a scene you’re currently writing: “Stop that. I’m in charge. Go sit in the corner.” I’ve certainly felt that way on more than one occasion. But I also have other voices: when I’m reading aloud!

Recently, I engaged in my first-ever public appearances as an author — reading from my debut Samhain novella, Spice and Smoke. Set completely in India and featuring an all-Indian cast of characters, it’s hardly text that matches my high-pitched, Valley Girl-Betty Boop patter. Let’s face it: I’m a tiny little Indian-American chick who cusses like a longshoreman. Bollywood hero or heroine, I’m not! But my third person narration, at least in my head, is that of a warm, husky, Indian accent…and the voices of my leads — from Avinash Kumar’s rough rumble to Michael Gill’s more casual mix of British and Indian — are distinct as well.

So, when I got up to the microphone, first at NYC’s Happy Ending lounge for Ravenous Nights (ravenous.journurl.com), and then at Madame X for Lady Jane’s Salon, I read in accents. Yup, I did voices. And, I’ll be frank, you never know if you’re going to sink or swim until you’re in the middle of it, praying people are engaged or laughing or fanning themselves. My dialogue, fortunately, offers a lot of cues. Many multilingual Indians effortlessly blend their languages, throwing a little Hindi into their English and vice versa — and I utilized that in my writing. When you’re dropping in a “yaar” (pal/buddy, sort of operates like “dude”), or a “na?” (no, used like a Canadian “eh?”), it really helps enrich what you’re sharing with an audience. It forced me to inhabit the bodies of these tall, handsome, desi boys…who wouldn’t know a Valley Girl if she walked up and kissed them full on the mouth!

To join the conversation, check out Spice and Smoke; it’s available at all major e-tailers, as well as the Samhain Publishing store.

Leave a comment on this post, and one lucky winner
 will snag a copy in the format of her choice!

Editor, writer, American desi and lifelong geek, Suleikha Snyder published her first romantic short in Ravenous Romance’s 2011 TOUCHDOWNS anthology. 2012 brought a bevy of releases, including Suleikha’s first novella from Samhain Publishing, SPICE AND SMOKE, a Wild Rose Press short story called HEART MURMURS, and a short in Cleis Press’ SUITE ENCOUNTERS. Suleikha lives in New York City, finding inspiration in Bollywood films, daytime and primetime soaps, and Hell’s Kitchen wine bars.

Why Hotel Sex Is Hot

I love hotels, and I love hotel sex! That’s why I edited Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories and the new anthology Suite Encounters: Hotel Sex Stories. To me one of the greatest things about a hotel is one of the most obvious: it’s not your home. Probably you’ve never been there before. There are all sorts of things to explore and examine and indulge in. I took a staycation with my boyfriend earlier this year at the Gansevoort Park Hotel, and it was fabulous because we ate dinner at the delicious restaurant Asellina downstairs and never even had to go outside. The bathtub made me want to move into it, it was so deep and luxurious. But I don’t think you have to stay at a fancy hotel to partake of good hotel sex (and that includes solo sex). Just the mere act of getting away can shake you up, just like how I sometimes go to a new location to write for a change of scenery. Those two things collided when I was in Milwaukee for business and stayed at the beautiful Intercontinental (if you are ever in Milwaukee, I highly recommend it!). I wound up eating dinner at the hotel bar and a sleazy guy started hitting on me, with the genius line, “You must be very smart” because I was, wait for it…reading a book (a galley of love and cooking memoir Apron Anxiety by Alyssa Shelasky, which I also recommend). He was a loser and made me wish I’d opted for room service, but I wound up turning that incident into the basis for a story!

I regularly schedule hotel dates because even when you don’t have time to travel, they are a way to get away from it all. The last hotel I stayed at was The Benjamin, and I made sure to take advantage of their pillow menu, though I couldn’t help laughing hysterically when I got to the “snore no more” pillow. One tip that I could have used: if you bring sex toys with you, make sure they’re all present and accounted for before you leave. I wound up leaving my riding crop there and was too embarrassed to call and ask if they had it!

In Suite Encounters: Hotel Sex Stories, my new anthology out this month, there are sex workers, staycations, a mermaid, a murder mystery weekend, bondage (at the holiday inn!) and much more. I think Suite Encounters, like its predecessor Do Not Disturb, showcases a range of the ways people use hotels to get off. My story, “Special Request,” is one of the more outrageous, less realistic stories in the book. It’s an over-the-top fantasy inspired by a stay at the Westin in Los Angeles where they would have brought a treadmill or exercise bike to my room, and seemed to imply they could get a customer anything their heart desired. In my story, that actually happens. Here’s a snippet:

“So I booked this room because I’d heard from a friend that you will do anything to fulfill your clients’ wishes. I’ve been unable to find anyone who could meet my exact specifications, but you look like you’ll know where to find what I need. And my wish is for, well, an orgy. Tomorrow night. I want a room full of hot men and women to pleasure me and each other. Not professionals, just regular sexy people looking to have a good time. And I want you to join us. That’s a must. As a guest, off the clock. Confidentially of course—I must make sure not a word of this gets out,” Claudine finished with a Cheshire cat–like smile. Read the rest of this entry »

Details of the giveaway are listed at the bottom of this post! Enjoy!~DD

Before I start talking about sex, I’d like to thank Delilah for having me as a guest. I am proud (ecstatic, giddy even) to have her story, “Playing the Field,” as part of the lineup for my editorial debut, Girls Who Score: Hot Lesbian Erotica.

And now…let’s talk about sex, baby…

I always tell my friends (or strangers who have the gumption to ask about my sexuality) that I have a straight man, a lesbian, two bisexuals, a heterosexual chick, and a gay dude all living inside me—and they all get equal amounts of playtime.

My writing is proof that art imitates life. Even in the most fantastical stories, there are nuggets of truth about the writer. My stories include all of the aforementioned sexual orientations. Sometimes they include sweet, romantic and silly sex. Sometimes bondage, spanking and humiliation. Role play, cuckolding, strap-on play, exhibitionism, threesomes—almost everything is fair game—because in my bedroom it is (or has been in the past). If I’ve written about it, you can pretty much bet I’ve done it or had it done to me.

My sexual eccentricities are probably best captured in Power Plays, my latest release. It’s a ‘thrillogy’ – a collection of three stories. And although these particular stories all include some type of power exchange, they capture my unconventional sexual appetite pretty accurately.

There are two couples, a threesome, a one night stand with potential, some girl on girl action, some man on man mingling, a spanking party, bondage, and oh so much more. All of this in three stories? Yes—because that’s how I roll in my everyday life.

I like authenticity in erotica –whether it’s steampunk, fantasy, paranormal, or contemporary—the characters should be people that you can imagine meeting in real life. The dialogue should ring true—as should the motivations and desires of the characters. I don’t care if the MC is a vampire or a nymph—their personality should be real.

And so, maybe I’m divulging a bit too much (I tend to be too honest), but Power Plays best represents me in that it encapsulates the party that is my pants.

This is an excerpt from “Fun & Games,” one of the stories in Power Plays. I hope you like reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

The leather belt lands on my bare ass with a loud smacking sound. I bite down hard on the towel for a second, preparing for the next blow. Twenty, thirty, hell, even forty or fifty blows could connect with my flesh without arousing the slightest reaction from me, but this is a spanking party and my ass is a rental. You know how people treat rentals, right? Let’s just say my ass had already been ridden for way over two hundred miles. Read the rest of this entry »

Congratulations, Ebony Morton! You’ve won a free download
of Elle James’s HAUNTED!

NEW YORK CITY..GOTTA LOVE IT!

I love visiting New York City. Last year the Romance Writers of America conference was held so close to Times Square I could see it out my window…all.night.long…. When they say it is the city that never sleeps, they are right! All night long, lights shine, people come and go and taxis honk.

I love it! As a writer, I live in my own little office, barely socializing with anyone until I come out of my cave for conference. So what a difference to go to New York City.

The city is so rich in culture, a variety of people and interesting places that stories abound. I returned home with the challenge to write a proposal for a paranormal story for Nocturne Cravings. Immediately, I knew I had to set the story in New York City. I wanted a kick-ass heroine and a sexy-as-hell demon hero. Having just walked through the streets, down some back alleys and through the shadows of skyscrapers of Manhattan, I couldn’t think of anywhere I’d rather write about. Thankfully, Harlequin bought my story idea and this month HOT DEMON NIGHTS released. ~EJ

!!!PRIZE ALERT!!! – I’ll give away a download of Elle James’s HAUNTED to one lucky commenter. So leave a comment on this post for your chance to win!

HOT DEMON NIGHTS

Rookie cop Katya Danske didn’t ask to become a member of Manhattan’s Paranormal Investigative Team or to be partnered with a sexy-as-hell demon. Then a zombie literally drops into her lap and she’s recruited to help Blaise Michaels battle an impending zombie outbreak.

Blaise is as exasperating as he is arousing, but while Katya’s head tells her she should keep her distance, her body wants something else entirely. Forced to work closely together, their investigation takes them into the darkest shadows of the Manhattan underworld and makes their attraction impossible to deny. But with the zombie threat rising, their hot nights together may be their last…

Buy at Amazon
Buy at eHarlequin
Buy at Barnes & Noble